LA Wildfires- 3 Layers Of Loss And How to Cope With Them

The Three Layers of Loss from Wildfires: Understanding and Healing

As we’ve watched the wildfires consume our communities in LA,  leaving devastation in their wake, we’re hit with an emotional toll on several levels on top of the physical devastation. When we think of loss from such disasters, we often focus on the most visible form—actual loss. However, for those who have experienced wildfires, the grief extends much deeper, touching upon symbolic loss and even the loss of future dreams and fantasies. Understanding these three layers of loss can help individuals process their grief more holistically and find a path toward healing.

1. Actual Loss: Tangible and Immediate

The most apparent loss from wildfires is actual loss, which includes the tangible, physical destruction caused by the fire. Homes, personal belongings, businesses, and sometimes even pets and loved ones are lost in the flames. For many, these physical losses represent not just possessions but the anchors of their lives—their safe spaces, livelihoods, and cherished memories.

This type of loss is concrete and often gets the most immediate attention because it's visible. However, while the community may rally to help rebuild homes and provide relief, the emotional impact of actual loss can be long-lasting. Survivors often feel displaced and overwhelmed by the monumental task of rebuilding and are grieving the irreplaceable—family heirlooms, photos, and items imbued with personal meaning. While rebuilding is often focused on physical reconstruction, the emotional impact of losing treasured possessions or a place that once provided safety can be overwhelming.

Coping with Actual Loss:

• Allow yourself to grieve: It is essential to give yourself space to mourn the tangible things that were lost. Don’t minimize the significance of personal items like photos, heirlooms, or mementos.

• Create a new sense of home: Whether you are rebuilding or relocating, finding small ways to create a sense of comfort and familiarity in a new space can help with emotional recovery. Surround yourself with meaningful items, even if they are new.

• Reach out for practical support: Allow friends, family, or community groups to assist you with immediate needs, whether it’s finding temporary housing, replacing lost items, or helping with the logistics of rebuilding.

• Seek professional help: If the enormity of the loss feels too overwhelming, seeking out therapy can provide a space to process and work through the grief in a structured and supportive environment.

2. Symbolic Loss: Identity, Community, and Stability

While the actual loss is easy to identify, the symbolic loss is more subtle yet equally significant. Symbolic loss refers to the deeper emotional and psychological meanings tied to what was destroyed. It’s not just about the loss of a home, but the loss of identity, stability, and belonging.

For many, their home or business symbolizes their life’s work, representing who they are. When it’s destroyed, their sense of self may also feel shattered. Lost or forever changed communities also represent a collective sense of identity and security. Wildfires can disrupt the fabric of a community, leaving survivors feeling disconnected from the people and places that once offered comfort and familiarity.

Coping with Symbolic Loss:

• Reaffirm your sense of self: Try to reconnect with the parts of your identity that remain intact, such as personal values, skills, or relationships unaffected by the wildfire. Writing in a journal or talking with a therapist can help you reflect on this.

• Rebuild community ties: If you’ve lost your neighborhood or community, look for new ways to engage with others. Reconnecting with neighbors or finding new groups that share your interests can help restore a sense of belonging.

• Acknowledge your emotional displacement: Feeling disoriented or disconnected after a wildfire is common. Acknowledge these feelings and consider small steps that help reestablish a sense of place, such as visiting familiar areas or participating in community events as they begin to recover.

• Engage in rituals of remembrance: Hold space to honor what was lost. This could be through personal rituals, creating a memory book, or participating in community memorials that recognize the emotional weight of symbolic loss.

3. Loss of Future/Fantasy: The Disruption of Dreams

Perhaps the most complex layer of grief is the loss of the future or fantasy—the dreams, hopes, and imagined futures tied to the places, people, and things the wildfire destroyed. This loss can feel especially painful because it is intangible and often difficult to articulate.

For instance, someone who loses their home may mourn the physical structure and the future they envisioned there—the holidays they planned to host, the garden they dreamed of cultivating, or the family they imagined raising within those walls. Similarly, for business owners, a wildfire can destroy years of hard work and their vision for their enterprise's future growth and success.

Coping with the Loss of Future/Fantasy:

• Mourn your dreams: It’s essential to grieve not just what was lost, but the future you had imagined. Share your grief with loved ones or a therapist, and recognize that mourning these intangible losses is a necessary part of healing.

• Reframe your expectations: Though it may take time, start to reimagine a new future. Consider what aspects of your dreams can still be achieved or how new possibilities can shape your life.

• Practice mindfulness and presence: Focus on the present moment, especially when thinking about an uncertain future becomes overwhelming. Grounding techniques, meditation, or simply enjoying small daily activities can help create peace amidst uncertainty.

• Seek out hope in small steps: Although losing future dreams can feel all-encompassing, find small, actionable steps toward rebuilding. Whether planting new seeds in a garden, connecting with others for support, or exploring new opportunities, each step forward can open doors to a new future.

Healing Through Understanding and Support

Understanding these three layers of loss—actual, symbolic, and future/fantasy—helps create space for acknowledging the full emotional impact of wildfires. Each type of loss requires its own form of grieving and coping, and healing involves addressing each layer thoughtfully.

Therapy can be an essential resource in this journey. A compassionate professional can help you process the immediate shock of actual loss, explore the deeper emotional wounds of symbolic loss, and reimagine a future after losing dreams and expectations. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting what was lost but finding a way to move forward with new strength, resilience, and hope.

If you or someone you know is struggling after the wildfires, contact a therapist today. Support is available to help you navigate this complex emotional landscape and navigate the layers of loss.